Queens of the Crappy Land!

On a hot sunny afternoon, Lady Periwinkle and Lady Bertha from the Crappy land decided to meet and catch up on all the latest that is happening in their small little village. After the usual greetings and goodwill wishes, they proceeded to sit in Lady Periwinkle’s green lawn with Tea and freshly baked cookies.

Lady Periwinkle: Lady Bertha, did you hear about the mouse which went up the clock...

Lady Bertha: Oh yes..and then the clock struck 1 and the poor mouse got scared and ran away. But, our very own Humpty Dumpty is in a bad state I heard!

Lady Periwinkle: I say he deserved what he got. The king’s men and horses had warned him so many times not to sit on the wall. So he gets no pity from my side.

But, I am proud of that boy who put a finger in the pie and pulled out a cherry...

I would want to meet him some time.

Lady Bertha: Yes, he is handsome I dare say. He is very good friends with Jack. Oh, and Jack and Jill should have some good news by now. What do you think?

Lady Periwinkle: No Lady Bertha. Did you not hear about their sad story? They were playing ringa ringa roses on the hill n fell down.

Lady Bertha: That is pretty foolish of them. Also, I admire the boy with black sheep. He is making money faster than the king.

Lady Periwinkle: Oh, I say, he will give competition to king soon. The king will not even realize. The boy will stealthily make money while the king sits in his counting house, counting out his money.

Lady Bertha: Yes yes. I happened to meet Midas yesterday, and he has lost his golden touch. That is sad!

Lady Periwinkle: Midas? Is he the one whose wife always sits in the parlor eating bread and honey?

Lady Bertha: Yes, him. Rumor has it that he spilled curd after seeing Incy Wincy spider. That is why he lost the golden touch.

They were enjoying their lovely conversation, when Martha, Lady Periwinkle’s maid came to them hurriedly.

Martha: Ladies, unfortunately I bear some bad news. I just came to know from the Gardener, who heard it in the village and has been kind enough to share the same with me.

Lady Bertha: (Losing patience) Martha, please go ahead and tell us what the news is.

Martha: Madam, London Bridge has fallen down.

Lady Bertha: Oh! Only this Martha? The bridge was old anyway. We can do without it. I must say, Lady Periwinkle you have a very spirited maid.

Lady Periwinkle: (Embarrassed) Martha, get some pastries for the guest. Off you go.

Lady Bertha: I love pastries. If you can share with me your recipe of the same, I can ask my maid to make it for my sons. They are angry that all the daughters are getting the hot cross buns and they are the second preference. This ought to make them happy.

Lady Periwinkle: Since when is this happening? You need to be very careful Lady Bertha.

Lady Bertha: All this started when Johnny ate sugar and lied to his father.

Lady Periwinkle: Awwww.. This is sad!

Lady Bertha: Oh you don’t know little Johnny. He once pushed the poor little pussy, the one which had even been to London near the queen, into the well. It was good fortune that the stout boy saved it.

Lady Periwinkle: Children..we can go on talking about them. My little Mary has an adorable Lamb. It follows her everywhere. Our old Mother Hubbard underestimated her beauty when she said she was the ugly duckling. I am sure Prince Charming will choose her over Cinderella or any other girl at the ball.

Lady Bertha: But, Lady Periwinkle, it is a little difficult to compete with Rapunzel. I heard her long hair has reached sleeping beauty's fort!

Lady Periwinkle: I think it’s high time she lets go of her locks. It is very old fashioned.

Suddenly they heard chaos outside and both the ladies jumped up from their comfortable chairs and ran outside to investigate the cause. Outside they saw the Old Woman and asked her what was happening. She told that the Piggy Stuart was attempting a suicide on the railway line. Lady Bertha immediately called the Pied Piper who came along with a bunch of rats. Seeing this, the Piggy Stuart ran away to the nearby farm of the Potters.

The dramatic episode tired both the ladies a lot and they hence decided to bid farewell to each other. Lady Bertha invited Lady Periwinkle to her house for tea next Wednesday. Lady Periwinkle accepted it with pleasure.

It was at the next gossip session that Lady Periwinkle gave Lady Bertha the hottest news, that, Piggy Stuart has fallen in love with Piggy Marjorie and they are engaged and that they are getting married at the Low Lying Hills Church the coming Sunday! So, stay tuned…